So you just survived a first date and with flying
colours too!
You were nervous about exploring those
disabled dating services but you've now overcome any hurdles you
had as a physically handicapped single. Now for the real
challenge... who is responsible for the bill?
In the past, the answer to that question was easy to answer: the
man. But in the past, gender roles were rigid, to the point that
they were oppressive, so you should you still honour traditional
chivalry? Do women like it when men foot the bill? As a woman,
should you offer to pay? These are tricky issues for the
disabled and non disabled alike, so let's take a look at the
proper etiquette on a first date regarding money.
The rule of thumb is the person who is doing the “asking out”
should pay, whether they be male or female. However, with a lot
of people looking for dating online via a disabled dating
service, etc, this is not always easy to determine... sometimes
two decide to meet and it's difficult to say who initiated the
relationship. However, if there is clearly one person who is
asking to take the other person out, the answer to “who should
pay?” is clear as day! This person should also find out if the
restaurant, movie theatre, park, etc, they are planning on
taking their date to has proper accommodations for their
disability, if necessary.
Once the first date is over, both people can share the
financial burden as they please and it will be a lot easier to
discuss what they personally feel to be appropriate.
A good tip for men is to simply listen to the woman. If she
offers to split the bill, try to determine how serious she are
about wanting to do so and if she objects to you paying, let her
share the cost. This may actually win you points, especially if
she is a strong feminist! Other tips include flipping a coin to
see who pays and taking your date to places that won't cost
money, like the beach, etc.
So, what have we learned about disabled dating etiquette?
That men and women, with or without handicaps, have the very
same concerns about money. The bottom line is if you are a man
or a woman and you asked your date out, you are most certainly
expected to pay. Otherwise, on a first date, it might be a good
idea for the man to offer to pay and then respond to the woman
if she insists on splitting the bill or covering it completely.
Remember: with singles who have
disabilities, there is added responsibility, so the task of
making sure a disability is properly cared for should probably
go to the same person who takes care of the bill, consider this
as you plan that first, important encounter.
